Rolling Stone has released their list of "50 Genuinely Horrible Albums By Brilliant Artists".
Says Rolling Stone's Andy Greene: "Some of these albums were the products of way too much cocaine. Some of them came from label pressure to move beyond a cult following by creating commercial music. Some of them were crafted before a band found its true sound, while others came long after key members parted and the band had no earthly reason to still exist. A huge percent of them were sad victims of horrid Eighties production choices, most notably the dismal period from 1985 to 1988, when cheeseball synths and shotgun-blast snare drums created a sound that has aged worse than a tuna fish and sardine sandwich left in the sun."
Several titles, along with commentary, are listed below:
#48 - Van Halen - Van Halen III (1998)
When original Van Halen singer David Lee Roth left the band in 1985, they simply brought in Sammy Hagar and continued packing arenas, scoring hits, and selling albums by the million. After all, this is a group named after the guitarist and drummer. Why should it matter who is singing? In 1998, they learned the hard way that the singer mattered quite a bit when they brought in Extreme’s Gary Cherone to replace Hagar and cut Van Halen III. This was the dawn of the teen-pop era and Seventies/Eighties rock bands were already aggressively uncool. Still, another song like “Right Now” could still have theoretically landed on the charts. But they didn’t have another “Right Now.” They had songs like “Dirty Water Dog,” “Fire in the Hole,” and “How Many Say I” that left even hardcore Van Halen fans cold. “Cherone has one speed as a singer on III — pained exertion — and longtime bassist Michael Anthony and drummer Alex Van Halen sound as though they’re lumbering at any tempo,” wrote Rolling Stone‘s Greg Kot. “When the band plays it heavy, it mires itself in a Seventies tar pit, with only the chorus of ‘Without You’ achieving any sort of pop resonance.” Cherone left the band soon after the Van Halen III tour wrapped. The next time they toured, Hagar was back in front. It was like Van Halen III never even happened.
#43 - Metallica - St. Anger (2003)
When Metallica were at their absolute low point as a band thanks to James Hetfield’s chronic alcoholism, the defection of bassist Jason Newsted, and uncertainty about where they stood in a post-Napster music universe, they brought in a camera crew to chronicle the making of their LP St. Anger. This led to the stellar documentary Some Kind of Monster, and a deeply disappointing album. Fans rightly fixate on the decision to mic Lars Ulrich’s snare drum so it sounds like he’s banging on a tin can throughout the entire album, but there are deeper issues with St. Anger. The songs are unfocused and seemingly unfinished, and the straight-from-rehab lyrics (“I want my anger to be healthy”) could have used more thought. The band gets very defensive whenever fans or journalists raise these issues, but their set lists tell a different story. They’ve played fewer St. Anger songs in concert than any of their other albums.
#36 - KISS - Music From 'The Elder' (1981)
KISS didn’t know quite what to do with themselves at the dawn of the MTV era. They were still an enormously popular band, but critics despised them, and many of their fans were moving on to newer acts. In a fairly desperate attempt to establish some credibility, they reunited with producer Bob Ezrin, who’d helmed their best studio album, 1976’s Destroyer, and crafted an elaborate concept record about a dystopian universe where a brave hero named only the Boy who battles evil forces. It seemed like a fairly safe bet since Ezrin had just produced Pink Floyd’s 1979 opus, The Wall, but KISS are not Pink Floyd. The album got ripped to shreds by the rock press, and their remaining fans just ignored it. The band didn’t even bother touring behind it, and a planned Elder movie never materialized. “That was the one time I would say that Kiss succumbed to the critics,” Gene Simmons later said. “We wanted a critical success. And we lost our minds.”
#34 - Aerosmith - Nine Lives (1997)
Aerosmith launched an extremely unlikely comeback at the peak of hair metal Eighties, thanks to outside writers and tunes like “Love in an Elevator” and “Rag Doll.” They somehow grew even more popular in the grunge era due to “Cryin,” “Crazy,” “Living on the Edge,” and the appeal of a teenage Alicia Silverstone. But when it came time to cut 1997’s Nine Lives, they were melting down thanks to battles with their manager, infighting, and the temporary defection of drummer Joey Kramer due to grief over his father’s death. They also pushed out Columbia A&R wiz John Kalodner, even though he played a pivotal role in masterminding their comeback. The results were very chaotic sessions overseen by Journey producer Kevin Shirley, and middling ballads like “Hole in My Soul” and “Falling in Love (Is Hard on the Knees)” that felt like pale imitations of earlier hits. They eventually brought Kalodner back to try and salvage the project, but it was too late. The album still sold relatively well, and they followed it up a couple of years later with the Number One hit “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing,” but Nine Lives has aged terribly. If you doubt us, give “Ain’t That a Bitch” or “Taste of India” a spin.
#6 - Black Sabbath - Forbidden (1995)
Forbidden is a Black Sabbath record in only the loosest possible sense. Guitarist Tony Iommi was the sole remaining member at this point, and even latter-day members like Ronnie James Dio are nowhere to be seen. The group had essentially been in the wilderness for a decade at this point, and their label convinced them that Ice-T could come into the studio and make the band seem hip and modern again. “It was sold to us that Ice-T was going to be producing,” bassist Neil Murray told Rolling Stone in 2021. “And then it turned out to be his guitar player [Ernie C] from Body Count. I don’t think anybody really thought that he brought any suitable ideas to the production or how the mix wound up. We were mostly pretty disappointed. But it was like, ‘Here you are, journalists and fans, here’s an album you can really tear into it.’ It gave them too much ammunition with how the album sounded. The band wasn’t happy with it, and nobody else was either.” When the album tanked with fans and critics, Iommi had little choice but to reunite the Ozzy Osbourne lineup and pretend like the whole Ice-T thing never even happened.
#4 - Pantera - Metal Magic (1983)
Pantera are undoubtedly one of the greatest metal bands of their era. What a lot of people don’t realize, however, is that they were one of the worst metal bands of an earlier era. If you need to be convinced, check out their 1983 debut, LP Metal Magic, where they sound like a generic, B-list hair band. To be fair, Dimebag Darrell and Vinnie Paul were still teenagers when they made this album, and it was produced by their father, country singer Jerry Abbott. They also hadn’t joined forces with frontman Phil Anselmo. His predecessor, Terry Glaze, is a hopeless Paul Stanley wannabe. This is Pantera in name only, but it still counts as a genuine Pantera album. And it’s absolutely horrid.
Find out who else made the list at Rolling Stone.
