Helix vocalist Brian Vollmer has shared the following message of loss via social media:
"On Saturday morning (October 8th) I said what I thought was my final goodbye to my mom at the hospice on Windemere Road. As most of you know, she had a major stroke on Tuesday, September 27th. Mom had a DNR order (Do Not Resuscitate) which means that if she were ever in a situation where she wasn't awake and living off tubes she wanted to be let to die. Following her wishes, we placed her in the hospice, where she was kept comfortable. My sister Charin stayed there 24/7, and myself and my sister Donna came in to visit at least once a day. My brother Bill, who lives a considerable distance away also came to say his final goodbyes.
My mom was tough. She was tough raising us kids and tough to the end. Even though she was denied food and water (that's what they do on a DNR order) she lasted 14 days. The nurses joked that she was "...going to break the record..." So when I said goodbye on Saturday morning, I thought it would be the last time I saw her alive. The reason I was leaving town was to drive to Ottawa for the Christening of my new grand daughter Ainsley Josephine Marie Belliveau.
So Lynda and I drove to Ottawa, getting in fairly late, but in enough time to go see Jasmine, my son-in-law Joel, and my two grand children for an hour. Then we went back to our hotel and crashed out.
The next day we met back at Jasmine & Joel's and headed for the church where the christening was to take place. It was a beautiful service and Ainsley didn't even cry when the water was poured over her head for the baptism. She looked absolutely beautiful in the clothes Jasmine had dressed her in. Afterwards we went back to the house for a meal and to chat. Lynda and I agreed that we'd go back to the hotel, sleep until about 11P.M. and then hit the road home, hopefully beating the Thanksgiving traffic.
After sleeping for about three hours I was awakened by a noise, which turned out to be Lynda crying. She explained that my mom had passed away. We packed up quickly and then hit the road for home as I was now wide awake. As we drove along, we recounted many memories and funny stories about my mom, punctuated by phone calls to relatives and friends telling them the sad news. About an hour into our drive my brother phoned me and said, "I don't think mom is dead!'
Well, sure enough, mom wasn't dead - Lynda had misconstrued a message from my sister Charin - oops! Now the race was on to get home before she passed away, or to at least be there in the hours after.
The drive home wasn't for the faint of heart. I stopped for a coffee and noticed my one head light was out. The night was pitch black and then it started pissing rain, to further add to my driving stress. Traffic was horrendous even though we were driving late at night on a Sunday. We made it home about 12:30. I dropped off Lynda, as she was beat, and headed over to the hospice on Windemere.
My sisters were asleep in the room when I arrived at exactly 1:05 A.M. I pulled a chair up to my mom's bed side. Her breathing was shallow but not unduly labored. I knew she was in her last hours. The room was dark 'cept for the light in the bathroom behind me, but I could still see my mother's face. At about 1:30A.M. I thought to myself, "I'll stay until 2 and then go home."
As it neared the hour mom's breath slowly started to get less.
I was thinking, 'Come on mom - let go! There are people on the other side waiting for you - your husband, your son Michael, and your mom & dad.'
At that point her breath stopped and she was gone. I went to the front to ask the nurse to come, not realizing that I just needed to push the button by her bed. There was nobody there, so I went back and woke up my sister Donna. She pushed the button for the nurse and then took mom's pulse. Nothing. She was gone. Minutes later the nurse arrived and validated my sister's prognosis.
I left shortly after, happy that my mother was now in a better place. My mom was an active woman right up until she had to give up her house because of her Alzheimer's Disease. Her last couple of years she spent watching TV (Dr. Pimple Popper was a favorite, as were any cat videos) and listening to the country music channel. She would have never wanted to live like a vegetable. That wasn't her style.
So goodbye mom. I love you. Thank you for your sacrifices and everything you did for us. Thank you for teaching us humility, generosity, good faith, the benefits of hard work, and a thousand other positive traits. We will all miss you.
One last thing: Since Lynda and I returned from Florida in the spring we've been having a running conversation about my boot straps, which I bought at Flea Masters just before we left. They cost me $50 U.S. and I haven't seen them since I bought them. Lynda kept saying I left them at the store. I thought maybe I left them at our place at Bayshore Village. This morning they suddenly appeared in my sock drawer - the one I go into every day - the one that Lynda constantly goes into as well.
My friend Jim Dobrovac said it's a message from my mom: 'Pull up your boot straps son!'"
All of us at BraveWords send our sincere condolences to Brian Vollmer and his family.
